First, some running! Had our 5km time trial for Can Too last Wednesday, I was aiming for under 29mins, the first km was bang on target at 6mins, was feeling good and in my rhythm. The idea, for us anyway, is for the first 1km to be the slowest and each one you shave a few seconds off and do your fastest km last. So I was aiming for 6min for the first km and about 5.30min for the last. All night these very DARK dark clouds were pushing in, and just as we started we were given a spectacular display of lightning. No rain though, so we weren't particularly bothered ... everyone seemed to rather enjoy letting out a little shriek everytime it flashed. Unfortunately, one lap into the second km we were told the fields were closed and we had to get off. D'oh!
As it turns out it was for the best as, after a discussion with my friend A and our coach we decided it was better if I did the long run the next day and the tempo run on Saturday morning. I went away for a wedding, waaaay out in the sticks, which was on Saturday and I was in the bridal party. So it meant that I had plenty of legs for the 14km run on Thursday. It was a great run, although I went out a little hard and didn't get the negative split I wanted, but I was bang on time overall. It felt GREAT, from about 20 mins on, and afterwards I was ready to take on the world.
Saturday morning's run wasn't so good as I was knackered and had five drinks the night before at the pre-wedding dinner. Oops. I was also "forced" to eat a heap of garlic bread because my meal was RUBBISH. Urgh. Anyhoo, started to feel good at about 25 mins or so, so ran for another 15 to get some small benefit from it. Whoo hoo.
The wedding was fabulous, although my GOD my make-up was bad ... far too white. I knew the poor girl was in trouble when she started putting the foundation right down my neck - wrong colour! Far too pale, but frankly I didn't really care as it wasn't my wedding and I wasn't paying for anything. The groomsmen we were with were LOADS of fun, which made the two hours of photos much more enjoyable ... although the fact it was so dry, dusty and HOT still made it very uncomfortable. We were all grumbly by the end.
It all went swimmingly up to the bouquet toss when I became the Amazing Flying Woman.
One of the bride's (E) friends who I cannot stand, A, is basically a friggin' cow. She's about 6ft tall and - you will later find out how I know this - weighs 130kg. Which doesn't bother me, but I don't think she realises her own strength or something. She helped me with my flightplan. Actually, she is pretty much wholly responsible for it.
We were getting ready for E to throw the bouquet, and I was just being a bit silly jumping up and down saying "me, me" but we'd all actually already said we'd let M (another bridesmaid) catch it as her and her BF are getting "that way" inclined. Anyhoo, A doesn't like me - a well established fact - not sure why, COULD be because at high school she was slim and I was … not so slim, and now she is a heifer and I am … not so much of a heifer. Mostly. Anyhoo, for some reason she ran up and - as I was jumping into the air - she pushed me with two hands … hard.
Thanks to Newton we all know what goes up must come down … witnesses told me I flew about two metres before landing on my left shoulder, hard, on the dancefloor (one of those temporary/panelled types they set up in marquees and the like) and slid about another two metres ... after hitting my head. I came to rest basically curled into a ball, wondering WTF had happened. At the time I thought it had been an accident - that she'd run into me, it actually wasn't until the next day I found out it was entirely on purpose. OMG.
The lovely groomsmen rushed over and helped me up … and a big crowd formed, those who'd seen it or heard it. A was laughing, and I remember one of the groomsmen asking me if I was alright. Of course I said yes because I didn't want to cause a scene … and thankfully, for the most part, I was alright. Suffering a bit now but nothing's broken.
Anyhoo, they dubbed me the amazing flying woman … who needed to work on her landings. And A was dubbed the freight train among other things! Biatch. Later in the night she was, laughing, saying "I thought you were STRONG" and I'm like "I AM strong, but not when I'm hit mid-air without warning" and said "I know I look fat, but I only weight 65kg!" and she says "oh, well that might be the problem because I weigh twice as much as you". Yikes. No wonder I flew.
For the rest of the night people who'd seen the whole thing unfold kept coming up to me, asking me if I was really alright, telling me they didn't think I was going to get up and that I'd broken something - and one lady said she got her phone out ready to call an ambulance! The next day was worse - because they were ringing E to say congrats, and asking if "that bridesmaid" was alright! Which was nice, but it kind of scared me about how bad it could've been.
Have a mighty sore shoulder, neck and hip ... but considering all the things that could've gone wrong I'm very, very lucky. And I have a new nickname! Although would be much better if it were because I was a super fast runner or something.
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