Friday, 31 October 2008

Damn it's hot in here...

Phew, did Bikram last night in preparation for the Can Too dinner at one of the girl's husband's VERY nice Italian restaurant in Balmain. The food was completely amazing and delicious, but more on that later.

I love Bikram. I love the heat, the sweat and the super stretching, flexing and strengthening benefits. Oh yeah! Yesterday arvo, however, I struggled. Not with the postures, with the heat and humidity. I felt like my body was on fire and several times had to stand still to avoid fainting, and even sat down a few times - unheard of! I wasn't alone, and I definitely wasn't the worst off - several people had to go outside for fresh air. Anyway, I got through the 90 minutes but was annoyed that I hadn't been able to do all the postures as I was trying not to faint, vomit or both. The instructors are always saying that you should leave "your practice" in the room and every class is it's own challenge, you should not compare previous classes because every day is different etc. So, I am trying to do that ... but it's very hard not to wish I'd held bow pose for 10 seconds longer, or done the full lot of triangle poses etc.

Can Too dinner was a food orgy. Amazing pizzas, the best I've ever had - even in comparison to the ones I had IN Italy. The crust was light and chewy, not too much cheese - ohh heavenly. I had three small pieces. For main I had the blue eye cod, which had a tomato-chilli broth plus some mussels. Mmm, delish. I was so utterly stuffed that I had to skip dessert, but got a hot chocolate for good measure. I would go to this restaurant JUST for the hot chocolate, it was soooo amazing, like a cup of melted chocolate but not as rich. Thick and delish! Only problem was I didn't get home until midnight, making the damn 5am alarm so very unwelcome. But oh well.

Had faaaabulous conversations with some of the girls about weight loss, weight training and the like and going to try to organise a session once a week with one of them who is my training idol. Feel completely inspired about training at the moment, despite being damn tired. This arvo going to do 40 mins of cardio or so plus 45min Pump, and tomorrow morning doing 10km race and will also get to the gym or Bikram.

Weirdness on the D front ... it's still a watch this space situation.

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Running in the rain

I don't know why I do it to myself. Running in the rain. I hate it! Shoes get heavy - running coach says they can weigh over 500g each when soaked - clothes get heavy and cling, and rain comes in at face and is sooo annoying. But this morning I did it any. Clever! Rain was very light when I woke up and I thought "harden up, do it anyway", so I did. It was annoying drizzle, didn't really make anything saturated, but made me very uncomfortable and the 30 minute run very unpleasant. Grrr. I hate running on a treadmill, but on days like this must remember to just stay inside. Although, did feel very heroic when I finished the run ... just sodden and cranky, with a nice new rub under one arm. Charming.

Have just had my first appointment with my nutritionist. She is awesome. And - hurrah - she told me that my diet is basically fantastic, but she can see some areas of improvement. Well, good - that's what I'm paying her for! Have another appointment next week where she will give me my actual diet plan. Today was just background stuff, and I had to get on the scales! Eeek. First time on accurate scales for a while. Figures were actually pretty good - have kept things at the same level at least, and now aiming to lose 8kg or so, but would LOVE to get to 55kg. Just don't think it will happen though - I put on muscle far too easily. Which is good! Just means I will never be a greyhound.

My uncle came over yesterday to give me my birthday present, and it's fantastic. 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. They're soooo nice. Want to put them on the bed NOW, but prefer to wash them first and hell-o, it's raining. We had a great chat about everything, I mean everything. We even talked about him getting called up to go to Vietnam and being exempt because he had a spinal operation, and his friends who returned changed men - half of whom died of heroin overdoses! Argh. But anyway, it was fabulous. I am making a serious commitment to see him and my aunt much more. They only live up the road for god's sake.

Anyhoo, day off today. Think it will just be a quiet one as I'm sooo tired. Cleaning is done ... well, it is done enough for now. I'm sure I could go super gungho and do it all over again, but it's really above the usual standards.

Have been going through a whole heap of other people's blogs, to kill some time at work at whatever else. Envious of the way some people can narrate their lives! For me it's just a brain dump, if I write it all down I can stop thinking about it!

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

Confused by food

Gaaaah. I remembered today why I always try to bring my lunch ... firstly, there is just an crap selection of food places around here (work); secondly, then I know exactly what I'm eating. In terms of carbs, fats, protein etc. Went out for lunch today and bought a salad ... actually, a mix of three. And as I was walking back to the office, I was more closely investigating the bean mix, spotting corn in there ... and the lentil salad bit had onion in there! And the pumpkin salad had chickpeas. It was all rushing through my mind ... how much protein, carbs, etc am I eating, and is the onion going to set off an "episode" of IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome).

Going to the nutritionist tomorrow to get everything clear in my head. Just so confused by food. Used to happily* eat 1/2 cup of porridge made with water every morning, but then another friend told me that this was bad as way too many carbs. But then, is less than 200 calories for all that and has lots of fibre, plus other good things. Also, it's low GI so it fills me up until 11am or so.

Then was eating a banana and realised it was bad, as is high GI. Then ate tiny handful of trail mix, and was thinking 'eeek, dried fruit = high in sugar'.

There are lots more incidents (is Equal cancer causing?), but they can all be summed up by "gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah". Ha ha.

Have first of six appointments tomorrow morning, and I am committed to eating whatever I am told, whenever I am told. It's her JOB to know all this stuff, so am just going to pay her to teach me! Far easier than reading 10,000 conflicting views on the subject.

Team Sports

Last night I played "touch AFL" with my new team the Rushed Behinds. A few players from last season's team joined them because we didn't have enough. Anyway, it was so utterly shite. The guys never pass to the girls, even when we're in a better field position than the guys. When they DO kick it to us, it's generally out of desperation so it's a horrible pass and we inevitable miss or fumble it to their disgust.

I was in defence, marking this girl who barely moved. I was so, so bored ... I was basically standing still for 40 minutes with some occasional bursts of running. But I didn't even raise a sweat, despite it being over 30 degrees. It's at least a half-an-hour drive to the grounds from my place, plus 40 minutes of "play" and I really didn't like it. Would rather be running/at the gym on my Monday nights than standing around getting hayfever and itchy legs from the grass. So, am going to talk to one of my original teammates today but I don't think I'll play anymore. Monday nights are gold at the gym, and I hate missing out on Pump.

Hurrah for the warm weather though, meant that by the time I got home at 8pm I still wasn't hungry, and happily munched on some celery to get me through. No tea, no biscuits, no snacking! Champion.

Trying not to think about my holiday ... two and a bit weeks to go. Well, nearly three weeks really ... but considering I haven't had a holiday for far too long to mention (over two years) I am long overdue. Just want to have a nice break from life and get some perspective.

Oh, and sleep in past 5am.

Sunday, 26 October 2008


No, not me. I'm fine. This morning's breakfast was held by my good friend to raise money for Beyond Blue. It's been three years since she was diagnosed with bipolar. The sadness was what I could see in her face. I just wanted to grab her and hug her and tell it was all okay. But is everything okay? Can I know what's going on in her life and her head, beyond what she tells me?

Anyway, I was chatting to my dear friend C who agreed she could see the sadness in her face and actions and we were wondering what we could do to cheer her up. Ultimately, though, we decided that there was nothing you could do to help someone, really, beyond being there for them and trying to keep their spirits going and keep them in the loop. You know, keeping occupied with activities I think distracts you from sadness.

Not sure where I was ever going with this post, beyond making a commitment to helping my friend in whatever way I can to keep her out of the shadow of the "black dog".

Saturday, 25 October 2008


Oh lordy. I am sore. Yesterday morning did 14km - City2Surf distance - with some of the Can Too folk. It was so, so gruelling. I must get my fitness back ... I mean, I ran it ... but it hurt so badly! Worse than the pain in the legs, hips and back though is the negative talk running through my head, cursing myself for letting that fitness edge slip. Why did I do it? Why did I eat this and that, etc etc. Damn it!

I think by the end of the run though I'd talked myself back around to positive territory. I mean, I could've been sitting at home cursing myself for letting the fitness slip, as opposed to running and cursing myself. The latter is definitely the better option. So have recommitted and refocussed, which is definitely what I needed ... just needed a kickstart.

Anyway, onwards and upwards and all that. Have just made some low-fat zucchini and carrot muffins for a friend's big breakfast ... can't wait for breakfast, am starving. Leaving myself just enough time to jump in the shower, get changed and pick up my dear friend C.

Looking forward to a nice early night tonight, last night had a friend's hens night and didn't get home until after 1am, but naturally woke up at 5am. Gah! Why can I not sleep? Managed to get some cat-naps in until 7am when decided I may as well get up and get moving. Did some washing and what-not. Always astounded at how deathly quiet this building is in the mornings. No action until well after 10am. I totally appreciate people taking the opportunity to sleep in, but they're letting half the day go!

Today will keep exercise very low key. Might attempt something a bit later, but the house needs a damn good clean first.

Tomorrow will do Pump + 1 hour cardio equipment. Tuesday will either join the Mac Runners or do Bikram, depending on timings, Wednesday will go for a run in the morning, then have my first session with my nutritionist and in the evening will do my beloved Pump or swim, Thursday must be some more Bikram and Friday Pump. Saturday am doing the Sydney Striders 10km race through Lane Cove National Park, but might do Pump or something that arvo. Will see how things go.

Anyhoo, best be off.

Friday, 24 October 2008


Calories that is!
I'm not a counter ... not really, vague estimates are fine. In terms of food and exercise, I just don't have the discipline or inclination to calculate the differences too finely. So long as I eat healthy and avoid the treats, I'm happy to do it this way.

At the moment I'm being a bit more regimented ... well, I say at the moment, but I mean the last three days, and using Calorie King to work out how I'm doing. Pretty good so far. Although I still seem to always go over on the carbs. Must get that under control.

Anyhoo, the point - if I ever get to it - of this post was some encouraging figures I've uncovered about how many calories various exercises burn. Eg: Bikram Yoga (90mins) = 1050! Phew, I knew it was a lot ... judging by the pools of sweat, but THAT is amazing. Running for 60 mins @ 5.50m/km (usual pace) = 677. Pump class (60 mins) = 600 - 800 depending on intensity. Noooice figures.

More motivation! Time to get my butt movin'.

Friday and trying to get positive

What an absolute joy Fridays are! Although often they hold little meaning for me as I do shiftwork and sometimes work Saturdays and Sundays, then have days off during the week. THIS week, however, I have Sat and Sunday off. whoo hoo.

Last night was nothing short of an ordeal. I drove over to Carlton to pick up a Cheval mirror I purchased on eBay. It has been over a year since I had a full-length mirror in my house and I simply couldn't take it anymore. Not being able to see what my full outfit looked like. Plus, I like to "monitor" changes to my body ... I think it's the biggest motivator to notice definition on the stomach/thighs/arms etc when you're going to the gym. For me, when I can't see these things I tend to lose focus and direction a bit. Well, no more!

The reason it was an ordeal was because the eeeejit who I was buying the mirror from was not answering his phone! It was horrible. I was freaking out, wondering WTF I was going to do ... so went to the Westfields nearby to wander around and curse a bit, when finally he answered his phone. Thank the lord. Oh, not to mention the ridiculous traffic encountered along the way and usual moronic driving in the wet weather. Argh!

Trying to get focus back on food/diet with summer fast approaching and wanting to get super-fit and stuff. Have been struggling badly to get back into the habit. But it's so hard right now, I am just an empty vessel. Exhausted, I have nothing left in the tank. Wake up every day feeling tired despite going to bed by 10pm, struggle through the day and manage to drag myself to the gym or something afterwards but never with any real vigor. No more! Am going to attempt to have a restful weekend, despite the busyness of it, and get myself back on track.

To that end, here's my food plan for today:

Pre-breakfast snack (have this because I wake up at 5am and cannot face eating anything 'real' before about 8am): orange, coffee with skim milk.
Breakfast: 1/2 cup natural muesli, 4 strawberries (chopped up), 1/2 cup skim milk.
Lunch: Sushi
Dinner: Undecided.
No dessert.

Plus am doing Bikram Yoga at 4pm, which is just exhausting but energising at the same time. Sweat more than you'd believe possible, which reminds me - must be sure to drink a good two litres of water today!

Tomorrow morning hoping to go for a big run with the Can Too folk. 14km or so. Haven't heard from them yet, but decided I will go for a big one regardless. 40 mins out and 35 mins back.

Hmm. Slow day at work so far so no doubt will be back with some more ramblings.

Thursday, 23 October 2008


Hmm, well it seems the title of this blog is decidedly misleading! No running for me since the super-hard 10km race on Sunday. On Monday I did intend to go to Pump in the evening, but I got caught up shopping/chatting with a friend of mine, HC.

Tuesday I was, once again, SUPPOSED to go to the gym to go to Spin ... but I just left it too late to get there in plenty of time. I hate, hate arriving late to a class - even 30 seconds. Would rather have to wait 10 minutes than be late. So instead I decided to cook a really super-healthy dinner. And that, at least, I did. Went through my Biggest Loser cookbook and made the Scotch Broth. Lots of variations on the recipe, but essentially it's root veggies, a cheap cut of beef, herbs (I used thyme), pearl barley, onion, tomato paste and stock. The key to cooking something like this is time ... and I had that! I added a few extra veggies to pad it out a bit, so instead of making four servings it stretched to six. At a cost of less than $4 a serve. Pretty good!

I invited a friend around, D, because he'd called up to see what I was doing and sounded a bit bored and lonely. He certainly seemed to enjoy it! He got to eat about 1/4 of mine too because I got a bit full. Best of all, he brought some fresh mangos and Sara-Lee ice cream around for dessert. Mmm. Obviously that completely ruined the healthy dinner idea ... but damn it was yummy. And hey, mango has lots of good vitamins ... and I very rarely eat ice cream so it was a nice treat.

Wednesday night I made it to the gym, whoo hoo, and did 40mins on the bike at pretty hard pace, then 15 minutes on the cross-trainer thing ... worst thing was I forgot my damn IPod. Honestly, what is the point of having such a device if you just forget to take it where you need it? Hmm! Then did Pump in THE MOST packed class I have ever been it. It was ridiculous ... but great fun. I am such a cow, but I totally loved the fact that I had double the weights on compared with 90% of the women there. Mind you, they were pretty much all thinner than me ... but not fitter or stronger obviously. Not sure which I'd prefer.

In fact, was discussing this with a friend at dinner last night. A friend of ours, H, is an absolute boozehound. She's 32 and can drink more than any one I know. She turns into a ridiculous human being when she does though. And she's proud of the fact she was taken away in an ambulance from a work function. Anyhoo, despite the boozing she's very slim and attractive, but obviously unhealthy as she does very little exercise. So ... here was my thought, would I rather be slim (thereby APPEARING healthy) than my current existence which is a little bit of extra padding, but very fit and healthy? Hmm, long term no doubt the latter is better ... but still, would love just a year or six months at, like, 55kgs.

Hmm, insane ramblings indeed.

Saturday, 18 October 2008

Name change and new commitments

Ha ha! I'd forgotten all about my blog.

To make a quick recap on events! I did do the City 2 Surf last year! Hurrah. And finished in about 89 mins or so, which I was happy with at the time.

Unfortunately the slide of non-activity continued post-City2Surf with me losing interest in a whole lot of things, breaking up with D and spending a good month or so heartbroken and miserable. Christmas and New Year were mixed, but whatever - I survived. Got back together with D for a while but it was just never ... going ... to ... work. So in June I decided it was time to get myself back on track and I signed up to run a half-marathon with Can Too. And ... I did it! 21.1km in 1:59:51.

Can Too are an awesome organisation who train people for various events (running and swimming) in return for the participants raising $$ for their cause, a brilliant cause at that. Can Too raise $$ for Cure Cancer, who provide grants to cancer research scientists. $75,000 is enough for one scientist for one year, to move closer to a cure for cancer.

Anyway, still single, still running ... although at this very point in time probably not as much as I should ...

It's now been two years and nine months since I had a holiday. In that time I've had three jobs, a torrid break-up, my car was set on fire and no comprehensive insurance due to a missed payment and the usual gamut of things that happen in life. I have just hit the wall physically and emotionally, I'm exhausted. I've got the last two weeks of November off and I'm calling it my detox, de-stress and super-fit holiday. Just going to dear old Jervis Bay, will run on the beach, go swimming, go to the gym, read books, sleep lots, eat super healthy and basically chill out.

I want to emerge my old positive self again, instead of this exhausted sometimes miserable lump I've become.

It's not so bad ... I'm probably just on a low right now as I'm at the end of a loooong week at work, and counting down big time to the holiday.