Happy Days!

Hurrah! We had our last time trial before the half-mara last night. My aim was to get under 27.43 and I SMASHED it ... 26.25! Whoo hoo. I must thank the guy who paced off me from the 3km mark and then MAJORLY peed me off when he attempted to overtake me on the last lap (we were running on a 500m track). Seriously! You're not gonna use me as your "pace car" only to run past me at the final post. Nah Uh! So we practically had a sprint finish ... and I won!!!! Yeaaaaah!

It was just as much a mental challenge as a physical one. The first 2km I found REALLY tough because my head was just saying "can't do this" and "don't want to do this" and similar. I just tried to ignore my brain and concentrate on getting my body into a good rhythm and pace, and soon after the 2km mark I felt much better physically and mentally, managing to get my brain into thinking "yes, I can do this". I heard this guy pick up his pace to follow me (3km mark) and I was still feeling positive until the lap he started trying to overtake me. Seriously, there was something in me that just wanted to give up, slow down and let him overtake me - rather than push 110% and still lose to him. BUT I managed to kick myself in the head and get "mad" almost, thinking "you douchebag, you're not gonna follow me and then beat me!" etc, and instead of thinking "I can't do this" I was thinking "YES, you can, YESSSS, you can". And when I did and could, it was just an amazing feeling. Turned around to my follower and thanked him for the "push", he laughed and said it had nearly killed him. Ha ha. Ahhh, I know it's a small and petty victory, but I did it on my own two feet without any help.

Another reason for happy days, days OFF. Have five in a row. Just plan on doing NOTHING but catch up on sleep, switch over my wardrobe from summer to winter (boo hoo, it's time - I've finally put the heater on), read some books and catch up with friends.

After my recent dating DISASTER I feel like I'm ready to get back into the dating world. Will give myself until after the half-mara - when my commitments will ease off a bit - and then try some RSVP action! Why the hell not? The worst that can happen is I have a few bad dates?? So long as you play it safe - public places, short dates, and tell people where you're going.

Anyhoo, that's my life for the moment.

Hurting

Did Bikram class yesterday afternoon for the first time in about three weeks - since the running fall that saw me bloody my hands up and bash my knee/shoulder. I pushed it HARD, I was SO happy to be back ... and now everything hurts. I WAS going to go to the gym after work ... but I really do not think I have anything to give. I am going to skip it tonight and have a good dinner and early night, then do Pump in the morning plus some extra cardio. Have running tomorrow night, 5km time trial, MUST shave some seconds off the last time ... but considering it was pissing with rain and I took the first KM out VERY slowly (ie: 40secs slower than the rest) I think I will be alright.

So yeah, everything is hurting from my neck to my ankles. But it's a good hurt and it will get better.

18km and ANZAC Day

Every year I pledge to go to a dawn service somewhere for ANZAC Day, and every year I am thwarted! Last year I had to work, this year I had to run 18km ... well, I chose to rather. It was a fantastic run. I felt great up until I would say the last 2km when I died in the arse a bit. Although to be honest it had more to do with mental rather than physical issues, my mind was full of negative thoughts (about myself and my abilities). Oh well, three weeks to the race.

We had two extremely emotional and moving speeches before our run. One was from a lady who has battled with breast cancer for 18 years, since she was 27, and survived. She's in remission if you can believe it. Dear god though, there were some almighty stuff-ups on the part of her medical team! Note to self - find a good doctor and stick with them. This lady is the reason I am running with CanToo and raising money for cancer research, it not only raises money for research but it raises awareness. Check yourself, know your body etc etc.

The second speech was even MORE upsetting, from a good friend of mine S. She is the light of my life ... well, one of them, but she really is a ray of sunshine. She's supportive, friendly, warm, considerate and lots more of those things. I knew she suffered from bi-polar disorder, but on Saturday she told us how before CanToo she had spent months in hospital because she 'didn't want to here anymore'. Dear god, it tore my heart out to think that this bubbly girl who loves life might never have come into my life or found her way out of the darkness. It was one of those times I wished I could find just the right words to convey to her everything that was going on in my head - I care about you, you are special in this world, I am here for you etc etc. Instead I just gave her a big hug and shed a few tears with her! Hee hee.

Anyhoo, enough of the soppy stuff. After the run I raced home to get races ready! Had three dresses picked out, with matching fascinators and shoes. Gah! I could not decide, so quickly texted a friend who gave me v. good advice and I was set ... well, it still took me a
good hour to get myself sorted. My limbs had stopped responding as they normally do, body was HATING me after the run. Especially the knees.

The rest of the day was relatively standard - struggling with Sydney public transport, crowds, trying to get an over-priced glass of champagne, watching horses fly past ... watching people play two-up, laughing at guys in uniform misbehaving. Think wearing heels for 10 hours did more damage than the run though, the next day my feet were THROBBING. And I think I had about 10 glasses of champagne all night ... and one beer. Hah, oopsy. Oh well, ANZAC Day is (thankfully for my liver/kidneys) but once a year, so you have to put in a good effort.

Now I'm on the serious three-week super clean/angelic living challenge for the half-mara. I know I can run the distance, I can go under two-hours too, not sure for 1hr55min, but there's always September. Just want to keep running and not go up on the scales. Recent behaviour (PMSing) has seen some naughty toast AND even a chocolate bar creep in!! V. naughty.

God, I need sleep

Could not for the life of me sleep last night ... so many thoughts going through my head. So tired today and feeling utterly vile ... none of my clothes fit right (too big), but trying not to spend any $$$ on them for a little while. Weather has turned to weird in between seasons, and nothing seems suitable. Oh, and just feel disgusting! Saw all these pics of myself at a friend's wedding and just thought I looked dreadful, but everyone was telling me I looked great ... and know I have lost weight, so what's going on???

Have put it down to hormones and being really tired ... will reassess in the morning! Oh, before the 18km run we're doing. Whoo hoo, got my timing chip and bib for the half-marathon in May ... guess I'm really doing it now eh! Can't wait. Just hope I can make it. Goals are 1) to run all the way; 2) to finish in under 2 hours; 3) to finish in around 1hr 55min. Would ideally like to achieve them all ... but have to be realistic. We shall see!

Ahhh, eight hours sleep be MINE.

Super hard running

I am suffering soooo badly from my antics yesterday. Did 45min lunchtime Pump. Fooooool. I had running training in the evening, counting down four weeks to the half-mara. The session was literally harder than any I've done ... in terms of running. It was 24 laps of an AFL oval/field (apparently about 440m), alternating between a lap jogging for 100m, sprinting for 100m, jogging for 100m, sprinting for 100m followed by one lap jogging at medium pace. Our aim was to finish each one in the same time as the last. OMFG. This was AFTER a four lap warm up and then at least 30 mins of intense core work, including a 3minute plank challenge (which I killed, Booyah!)

Didn't finish until 9pm (started 7pm). Last night everything hurt ... everything! Quads and hamstrings particularly. Had two scrambled eggs and one piece of Burgen toast for dinner, was literally all I could manage before falling into the shower and slumping in bed. Wore my Skins, which are supposed to stimulate blood flow and recovery or something. Wasn't TOO sore this morning, but my neck is a bit stiff (I felt myself tensing up in the last few laps) and my right Achilles is twinging every now and then. Rest day today, and tomorrow will do arvo Bikram. Saturday's run is 18km. Yikes. Hope I recover for it.

Have decided no more Pump on Wednesdays, it's too hard to back up for running. And it's only for a few more weeks. Eeek! I cannot believe how quick the year is going, and how quick the race is coming up. Saturday I'm going to finally spend my Rebel sport voucher my friends gave me for my b'day last year, going to pick some race day pants and get some more Thorlos - the best socks EVER for a sweat hog like me.

Not much other news ... except I am still knackered today and have been soooo hungry. But have managed to survive with some extra fruit and cups of tea. Last night's session was a great fat burner, so looking forward to some results please.

What to do??

I am so annoyed with myself and things in general right now. I am not complaining, as such, about this ... but two nights ago I tried on this gorgeous David Lawrence silk dress I'd bought, about two months ago, thinking I'd wear it to the races on Anzac Day and ... it's too big! OMFG. I can never trust the scale at home as it's pretty dodgy, but I reckon I've dropped and kept off a good 5kg. Now I have a dress, that I love, that looks awful as it no longer sits nicely and just looks wrong!

If that were the end of it I would be fine, but similar story with a pair of jeans I bought about a month ago, and now I'm pulling some of my winter stuff from last year out and finding most of it is too big! To the point where I decided to wear one of the skirts yesterday, only to discover it was making a bid for the floor by lunchtime - sitting on my hips instead of my waist. ARGH.

I hate shopping, there are so many other things I'd rather do, but now I NEED to go shopping. I literally do not have clothes to wear once the weather gets colder.

Some of it will sell on ebay, but that David Lawrence dress ... I don't know, I love it too much! Booooo.

I remember when I was first losing weight I refused to buy new clothes for months and months, wanting to wait until I was "finished" ... now I feel like I need to do similar. Although will never be finished. Too many half-maras to train for this year. Have less than a month between the SMH half-mara and training begins for the Blackmores half! God help my legs.

In other news, hands are recovering nicely from my stack on Saturday. Knee is still spectacularly bruised, and I have bruises on my hands! The heels of my hands! Quite impressive, and explains why it hurt so much to do push ups at the gym on Monday - ended up having to do them on my fists. Which is quite an interesting experience.

Oh, I fell!

It should not be a familiar story ... but it is! Stacked in less than 1km into today's 16km training run. Running up one of the big hills, thinking about pace/breathing/body position etc and did not see or appreciate how uneven the footpath was at one particular point. Felt my foot hit the uneven edge and before I had time to stop myself ... splat. Foolishly - but naturally - put my hands out to stop myself, now have several huge chunks/grazes out of my hands, banged one knee painfully on the footpath and now have a rather large, purple and red looking lump. Thankfully was wearing 3/4 pants so did not graze it too badly. Argh.

On the plus side, the adrenalin from the fall kept me going for a good couple of kms! Of course I kept running, ignoring the blood on my hands and strips of skin hanging off. Totally gross I know. Ran 16km in 1hr 37mins, but the last km nearly KILLED me despite taking extra hit of gel. How disgusting is that stuff? It really is putrid. Not the taste, but the texture. Like a big blob of congealed ... um, something. Plus is really quite sweet and sticky ... but does the trick, instantly felt energy come into the legs.

Topped off an absolute RUBBISH week in my life. They say bad things happen in threes ... I think I've had three and a half. Monday evening I locked myself out on the balcony of my first floor apartment, was cleaning it and didn't want dust etc to go into the newly cleaned flat, slid the door home a little hard but obviously didn't realise I was locked out until I went to go back inside. Bugger! Spent about five minutes contemplating whether I could swing myself over the edge of and drop down (about two metres) to the ground without breaking my ankle ... thankfully didn't have to test that theory as one of my neighbours wandered up the street and saw me looking around in what I imagine was a rather frantic manner. He came up and asked me if I was alright, admitted I was locked out ... he laughed, naturally, and got a ladder and helped me down. I am NOT good with heights, especially doing things at heights like climbing onto the balcony ledge and trying to get my foot on a ladder rung that was, what, four inches by 15 or so? Oh well, I did it. Lovely neighbour then let me back into the building, scary bit was when I asked him to call me a locksmith. He asked what type of lock I had on the door, explained it, and he whips out his Video Ezy card ... had the door open in less than 30 seconds.

So very comforting to know my door can be broken into so easily. I was so relieved at the time I didn't think about it too much and am still trying not to think about the implications too much. That was incident #1.

Incident #2 was getting a flat tyre on the way home from work on Thursday. Had 1001 things to do ahead of my "Super Friday" Good Friday BBQ, least of all was to pick up the 2kg of prawns I had ordered, bread rolls and whatnot. Called trusty NRMA who told me they were at least an hour away. Righto, changed it myself with traffic whizzing by at an alarming rate. What was even more alarming/upsetting was the amount of angry honks I got. What the HELL did these drivers expect me to do? Go faster? Worst offender was a silver service taxi that got stuck behind me and sat there honking and waving his arms at me in an agitated state. I totally realise how frustrating it must have been to be him, but it was hardly my fault. God, changing tyres is HARD. Well, not too bad ... but it took me several goes to lift the new tyre onto the bolt-thingies. Tyres are heavy! Had to line the holes in the wheel up with the bolts and then slide the wheel on. Would've been fine if I hadn't done Pump at lunch. Argh. Anyway, I did it. Got the prawns etc and then sat at home with a glass of wine, aching arms and feeling just a tad sorry for myself.

Incident #3 must be today's running stack. Hands and knee are really very painful, have wrenched my left shoulder and it's also aching.

Oh well, must mean I've got the bad stuff out of the way for a while? Please???

SHOULD be going out tonight, but I'm just knackered and sore ... and really need some "me" time, just watching rubbish TV or DVDs, reading and going to bed super early. Had very busy and stressful week at work and found myself awake after midnight most nights, with the 5am alarm bzzzz drawing closer. One morning woke up at 4am, bright and alert, and went for a run. Didn't get home until 9.30pm due to some last-minute filming work I had to do.

Anyhoo, the half-marathon is only five weeks away. That means five weeks of crystal clear living, minimal booze, low-carbs (smart carbs too), lots of fruit and veg and sleep! Must get more sleep. It WAS a New Years resolution afterall.

Urgh, some trouble with my ex of nearly a year too. He's decided he wants to give it another go. Hah, no way, mate, am I going back for round three of being made to feel miserable and unattractive. His tactics have included practically begging, to accusing me of not giving "us" a chance, to accusing me of not knowing what I've thrown away ... claiming we had something special. I'm SURE it was special for him, I did everything for him and looked after him and he did NOTHING for me. Literally nothing. Except reject me physically, emotionally and in every other way ... plus put me down and criticise my every fault. We all have faults, but do we need to have them pointed out to us on a constant basis by someone who randomly says they love us? NO.

Have gone into radio silence ... or at least, am ignoring anything I now get from him. Jerk.

Anyhoo, two more days of the long weekend - whoo hooooo!

Exhaustion and beyond

Oh. Dear. God. My body is BROKEN. Mixture of good, bad and ugleeee are the contributing factors. Friday - 20 mins of interval training on the treadmill, 2 min warm-up at 6min/km then 2 mins @ 5 min/km and - eeeek - 2 min at 4.30min/km x 8 or so. Plus 20 mins of weights - mainly lunges with bicep curls (5kg each hand), tricep extentions with 12.5kg weight, shoulder work etc etc. Saturday was 12km run, done in 71mins, extreme hill factor. Afternoon was Bikram, then in the evening went to a party in Surry Hills that was soooo boring I was required to drink about 6 G&Ts to survive it.

Got home at about 1.30am and due to my bodyclock I still woke up at 5.30am ... which was actually 4.30am due to daylight savings ending!!! Gaaah. Lay in bed for about an hour trying to sleep/reading and finally got up at 6.30am to do some stuff. After much deliberation about whether my legs could take it, I did Pump at 10.30am. Phew, legs were totally screwed so took it easy on them and upped the weights on the upper body tracks. So now everything hurts! Nice and even.

Drove over to the other side of the city to pick up a small table and chairs from an Ebayer, managed to pack them all into the Corolla - mightly AZJ!!! And then had somewhat harrowing drive back with limited vision out the back window. Survived it, however.

Now it's 6.15pm and I'm wondering how long I have to wait until I go to bed and what I should have for dinner ... or if I can even be bothered to have dinner. Soooo tired.

And it all starts again tomorrow. Although ... having the arvo off gym and running tomorrow (actually, will prob do short 3o min light run) to do some serious cleaning ahead of my Good Friday non-meat BBQ. Not that I'm religious, but it's a good excuse to eat prawns and smoked salmon! Oooh, and Tuesday have a hot date ... outfit selection begins NOW.

The Amazing Flying Woman

My new nickname in certain circles for reasons that I will explain later on.

First, some running! Had our 5km time trial for Can Too last Wednesday, I was aiming for under 29mins, the first km was bang on target at 6mins, was feeling good and in my rhythm. The idea, for us anyway, is for the first 1km to be the slowest and each one you shave a few seconds off and do your fastest km last. So I was aiming for 6min for the first km and about 5.30min for the last. All night these very DARK dark clouds were pushing in, and just as we started we were given a spectacular display of lightning. No rain though, so we weren't particularly bothered ... everyone seemed to rather enjoy letting out a little shriek everytime it flashed. Unfortunately, one lap into the second km we were told the fields were closed and we had to get off. D'oh!

As it turns out it was for the best as, after a discussion with my friend A and our coach we decided it was better if I did the long run the next day and the tempo run on Saturday morning. I went away for a wedding, waaaay out in the sticks, which was on Saturday and I was in the bridal party. So it meant that I had plenty of legs for the 14km run on Thursday. It was a great run, although I went out a little hard and didn't get the negative split I wanted, but I was bang on time overall. It felt GREAT, from about 20 mins on, and afterwards I was ready to take on the world.

Saturday morning's run wasn't so good as I was knackered and had five drinks the night before at the pre-wedding dinner. Oops. I was also "forced" to eat a heap of garlic bread because my meal was RUBBISH. Urgh. Anyhoo, started to feel good at about 25 mins or so, so ran for another 15 to get some small benefit from it. Whoo hoo.

The wedding was fabulous, although my GOD my make-up was bad ... far too white. I knew the poor girl was in trouble when she started putting the foundation right down my neck - wrong colour! Far too pale, but frankly I didn't really care as it wasn't my wedding and I wasn't paying for anything. The groomsmen we were with were LOADS of fun, which made the two hours of photos much more enjoyable ... although the fact it was so dry, dusty and HOT still made it very uncomfortable. We were all grumbly by the end.

It all went swimmingly up to the bouquet toss when I became the Amazing Flying Woman.

One of the bride's (E) friends who I cannot stand, A, is basically a friggin' cow. She's about 6ft tall and - you will later find out how I know this - weighs 130kg. Which doesn't bother me, but I don't think she realises her own strength or something. She helped me with my flightplan. Actually, she is pretty much wholly responsible for it.

We were getting ready for E to throw the bouquet, and I was just being a bit silly jumping up and down saying "me, me" but we'd all actually already said we'd let M (another bridesmaid) catch it as her and her BF are getting "that way" inclined. Anyhoo, A doesn't like me - a well established fact - not sure why, COULD be because at high school she was slim and I was … not so slim, and now she is a heifer and I am … not so much of a heifer. Mostly. Anyhoo, for some reason she ran up and - as I was jumping into the air - she pushed me with two hands … hard.

Thanks to Newton we all know what goes up must come down … witnesses told me I flew about two metres before landing on my left shoulder, hard, on the dancefloor (one of those temporary/panelled types they set up in marquees and the like) and slid about another two metres ... after hitting my head. I came to rest basically curled into a ball, wondering WTF had happened. At the time I thought it had been an accident - that she'd run into me, it actually wasn't until the next day I found out it was entirely on purpose. OMG.

The lovely groomsmen rushed over and helped me up … and a big crowd formed, those who'd seen it or heard it. A was laughing, and I remember one of the groomsmen asking me if I was alright. Of course I said yes because I didn't want to cause a scene … and thankfully, for the most part, I was alright. Suffering a bit now but nothing's broken.

Anyhoo, they dubbed me the amazing flying woman … who needed to work on her landings. And A was dubbed the freight train among other things! Biatch. Later in the night she was, laughing, saying "I thought you were STRONG" and I'm like "I AM strong, but not when I'm hit mid-air without warning" and said "I know I look fat, but I only weight 65kg!" and she says "oh, well that might be the problem because I weigh twice as much as you". Yikes. No wonder I flew.

For the rest of the night people who'd seen the whole thing unfold kept coming up to me, asking me if I was really alright, telling me they didn't think I was going to get up and that I'd broken something - and one lady said she got her phone out ready to call an ambulance! The next day was worse - because they were ringing E to say congrats, and asking if "that bridesmaid" was alright! Which was nice, but it kind of scared me about how bad it could've been.

Have a mighty sore shoulder, neck and hip ... but considering all the things that could've gone wrong I'm very, very lucky. And I have a new nickname! Although would be much better if it were because I was a super fast runner or something.