Tuesday, 30 June 2009
On Saturday we did a fast and furious 10km at training. Well, I didn't intend for it to be fast and furious ... it just happened that way! Set myself a new 10km pb of 52min, which I know isn't super-fast but for me it's flying and it was on a super-hilly course. Previously my best 10km time was 54.10min. It was one of those runs where I never felt good though, I constantly had to push myself and fight the voice in my head telling me to give up because it was too hard, I was too tired etc. Was pretty damn pleased with myself afterwards though! My goal is to be running 50min 10km by the end of the year. Or to run that at least once anyway.
Now, onto the RSVP rubbish. Firstly let me say gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Phew. Right. So after the armpit licking email from Mr Roses I sent him an email back saying that I really didn't think what he'd said was appropriate and I didn't want to hear/see him again. But - bloody hell - he has my phone number doesn't he! He sent me a text saying he'd "googled" me and found some pictures of me and articles that I've written. Weirdo! I mean, I understand that in this day and age you've got to expect or at least accept someone will google you, but you don't TELL the person you've googled that you did it ... or tell them what you found. Urgh. I won't go into anymore details beyond to say he found a pic of me after the City2Surf last year and now wants to "come back as the crotch of a pair of women's adidas tights". URGGGGGHHHH. Naturally I have now blocked him from everywhere that can be blocked after sending him some messages telling him to bugger off ... slightly different wording though.
That's really about it to be honest. I'm kinda over it right now. Plus, I don't really have time to date as I've got so much training happening over the next few months and the Ashes stuff at work which will mean I am pretty committed for about six weeks. Blahhh to all that.
In fact, in terrible blah space in general right now. Must be that fabulous PMS time again as I feel like a big fat blob, despite my usual markers indicating that I have not gained weight (ie: skinny jeans and scales). Incredibly tired. Irritable. Stressed at work. Just have to keep the faith that the feeling will pass, as it always does. Going out to dinner with some girlfriends tonight, all set to look fab in gorgeous wrap dress and heels so that should perk me up a bit.
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
More later ... I am still trying to digest the email.
Monday, 22 June 2009
He has sent me 2 dozen long stemmed red roses, to my work, plus a box with a bottle of champers, chocolates, teddy bear and balloon hanging off it.
I am NOT FRIGGIN' JOKING.
I knew who it was instantly when I read the card and it simply said "Beautiful".
WTF is going on! A good friend of mine has said it's the result of one of the following three:
a) Love at first sight
b) He does this for every woman he dates
c) He's psycho
Either way I am totally freaking out.
Okay, sooo my dates. Saturday's guy is soooo lovely. He looked a bit different to his picture, but I can't say how. He just does. Not in a bad way, it was all good. He works at a printers as a digital layout something or other, he didn't really go into it too much (we didn't talk work too much), but he's really a keen artist and he's currently doing a commissioned piece and is getting set up to start having a stall at the markets near his place - doing t-shirt prints, stickers etc etc. He's got an amaaazing tatt on his right bicep/arm too which is his own design. Beach/ocean themed stuff, it was really cool. He was running late, which was alright as he rang and told me he would be before I arrived so I parked and went for a little walk.
Hah, on my walk got two excellently timed confidence boosters (which I really needed), one was a truck full of council workers leaning out the window whistling and stuff, and the other was a lady in a shop telling me I had "gorgeous shiny hair". Nice! We stayed from 1.30pm until 5pm when I realised I had to get home as I was supposed to be meeting friends at Olympic Park ahead of Simon & Garfunkel.
It always gets a bit weird at the end of the date. He told me he'd definitely like to see me again and kisses me on the cheek … although I WOULD say that I think he was going in for a bit more but I moved, he gave me an awkward hug which was nice … only awkward because I wasn't expecting it! Anyway, I had to race home to have a shower and get changed for the concert.
Anyway, date 2 is FAR juicier. And I need your opinions! He also looked a bit different to his pics, but I think everyone does, and I noted that his profile says he's athletic and while he's not overweight, he really is just average. How can someone say they're athletic when they don't DO any real exercise? It's bollocks. Honestly. Argh, anyway, I'm sure he's not alone on that.
Hang on, side point. Saturday's date was saying he breathed a big sigh of relief when he saw me because my profile says I'm "average" and he's met women who have that on their profile and are really overweight! We discussed this, and he said you should be able to hyphenate them - athletic-average, slim-athletic etc. Anyway, no idea why I mentioned that - but very true!
Anyway, date #2 was great. At one of my favourite pubs. Nice food, not to expensive etc and it's relatively quiet at lunch/plenty of parking around. I walked in and was in a bit of a flap because I was six minutes late and I hate being late! Walked through the main bair and into the dining area, when he pops up behind me. Turns out he'd been walking behind me for about a block, but obviously hadn't seen my face so didn't know it was me! Ha ha. After we got sorted with drinks etc we did the whole "did you find the place alright", "how's your day going", "how was your Saturday" etc etc. I was bricking it! No idea why, but man I was nervous. And he was too. So, it did not help when he looked at me with his big blue eyes to tell me I'm "so much prettier than my pictures". Argggggghhhh. I blushed like mad! It was TERRIBLE. I sort of laughed and said thanks, and jokingly said "please don't say that again". Bah.
The compliments didn't stop all afternoon. We talked about everything you could imagine, I found out why he's a non-drinker (which was a bit hmm for me as I don't mind a glass of wine or two every now and then). No big dark demons, basically he didn't like hangovers and his dad is an alcoholic, about five years ago he just decided to have a month-long break from it and he lost weight, felt better, looked better etc. Which I totally respect. He said he's not anti-drinking and doesn't mind being around people who are drinking, but he just chooses not to.
The compliments, oh man, I seriously lost count of the number of times he said I was beautiful. It was supremely off-putting and embarrassing. It was sleazy or anything, he just seemed a bit transfixed, kept apologising if he was staring and stuff. He wasn't really, but he was definitely intently looking at me. He didn't miss a beat, noted that I had "beautiful" nails, "beautiful" teeth, "beautiful" lips/hair/skin/smile/eyes. ARGH. I told him I was banning that word!
He freaked me out slightly as he talked about kids/marriage/family etc. Said he really wanted to have kids soon. Also freaked out because he is clearly VERY well off. I mean, really, seriously, insanely. Well, compared to me anyway. It's not about the money, but I'm just not used to being around people who don't have to worry too much about anything, if you know what I mean. He really didn't mention it, he didn't brag about it in the slightest, just told me about how he'd started his company and how hard he'd worked in the initial stages to get it up and running.
It was all a bit much to be honest, I mean I appreciated that he was so upfront about everything … but it was a tad full on. We walked out the front of the pub and I was soo freaked he was going to try to kiss me (my first kiss with anyone is not going to be in front of a pub in the middle of the afternoon, in broad daylight), and I kept my distance. He got all teenager uncomfortable/embarrassed and didn't know what to say. So I said "okay, well give me a call sometime!" and ran away.
Awww, the poor guy called me about five minutes later to apologise, saying he felt like ramming his head into a wall. Said that I was "just so lovely" and that he's not used to meeting women like me. WTF? Said he's been on about 40 RSVP dates in two years and none of them have been of my 'calibre' and that he felt 'honoured' to be in my presence! I started laughing, it was sooo ridiculous, and said that he'd clearly gone out with the wrong women. Anyway, we both said we had a good time and we'd like to see the other again, so we'll see what happens.
Feeling like I'm setting myself up a bit here! Two great guys who're keen, and obviously I can only focus one. What to do?
Friday, 19 June 2009
Wednesday was the first proper training session for CanToo. I've signed up to do the Blackmores Half-Marathon in September and this is THE race. I am going for 1hr55min and I am going to get it! I am not being unrealistic, I really think I can do it. In the SMH half I really was on the pace until 15/16km and it was the dodging and weaving that got to me - I lost my rhythm. This race has far less competitors, because there's also a marathon and 10km event (last year 9km) and it's not a two-loop course.
So Wednesday, man I felt like rubbish! I just felt really out of sorts - I had a weird nervous energy and when I say why you will laugh. This guy has joined our group who I have SEEN ON RSVP. I have not contacted him or received contact or anything, just seen his profile - and I know he's seen mine as he appeared in my "those who have viewed your profile" list! Argh. Ha ha. Anyway, we didn't have that 'moment of recognition' or anything but it will surely come eventually! Watch this space!
We did a quick 1km warm-up and then 3x1000m sets, I went way too friggin' hard. First 1km in 5.20min and that was ONLY because at about 700m I realised I was going to finish in under 5min if I didn't slow down, and the idea is to finish each set in less time than the previous one so I wanted to have some room for improvement. Next one was 5.05min and the last one 4.35min. Ack, I cannot keep this up. But it felt good to be able to do it, but my running form was not excellent. I must work on this! Need to get some extra core work happening. But really, I just need to calm down a bit.
Tomorrow morning we're doing 8km, which is obviously not a huge amount in the grand scheme of things (considering I did 18km last week). Plan to head to Pump at about 10.30am, which I am really loving at the moment - instructors are mixing up the tracks, which I loooove as they bring back old favourites and take requests! Hurrah.
Then having lunch with weekend RSVP date one. I usually hate to eat on dates, because it locks me in to being "there" or on the date for a certain amount of time. Generally I would prefer to have a drink, because that way you can extend it to a meal if you feel like it. This guy, however, seems like a real down-to-earth bloke and I am reaaally looking forward to meeting him.
Hopefully will leave me enough time to rush home, get changed and go to meet friends ahead of the Simon & Garfunkle concert, which I'm seeing with my little bro and a HOT mate of his. Seriously hot mate, a bit young though ... and I would never touch my brother's mates because things would just get weird, but it's nice to think about!
Sunday going for a long run with some of the girls doing the Gold Coast half in two weeks, probably around 18km or maybe 16km.
Then having lunch with weekend RSVP date two. I am kinda mixed on this guy. He seems really nice, friendly, easy going etc and funny, which I like a lot, but he lives about an hour away which might not work as I do not have a lot of spare time to be driving to see him. But he's coming to meet me, which is a good sign. I did offer to meet him halfway! Also mixed because on his profile he says he's "athletic" but he doesn't seem to actually do much exercise, and his pics give me the impression that he was once athletic and he's kinda softened around the edges.
This, actually, is one of the things that pisses me off about RSVP. People misuse the body type description. I put myself as average because I'm not slim, I'm not "a bit overweight" and I'm not really athletic. When I think of an athletic woman I think of someone with a more more muscular figure than mine, I still have soft bits (ie: butt, boobs and thighs). None of which are huge, but they're there. A friend of mine, however, who is really quite overweight (she's 100kg+) puts herself as "average". So who's in the right.
It's much worse with guys though. Most of them say they're athletic or average, and a lot of the ones who say they're athletic are average and those who say they're average should be up one class! Ha ha.
Oh well, what to do? Am I athletic??
Have finally kicked the "I feel fat" blues. Almost anyway. Today I felt great as I put on my "test" jeans and, hurray, they were kinda loose and they looked ... well, quite good actually. Since my Melbourne/Geelong splurge I have been working really hard and have been really careful with what I've been eating. Obviously I have dropped 5kg in two weeks, but it's working! Which is great ahead of two "possibly/maybe" weekend dates.
Will report back with date goss on Monday. Or Sunday! We shall see.
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Felt a bit disappointed that I've slipped back in fitness, but as I said in a previous post - nothing I can do now but keep moving forward! Figure in a few weeks it will all feel much better, so I'm looking forward to that.
Urgh, RSVP is bugging me. I got a "kiss" from some icky 52yo guy (I'm 30, hello!) and when I replied saying "I think our age gap is too great" or whatever, he sent me a nasty email saying "okay fine, I understand. I was just trying to think outside the square. It's your loss, other ladies will appreciate what I have to offer". Ew! Fine, offer it to other women ... I don't want some 52yo guy! I think my age limit (27-40) is pretty liberal, but I do want someone who's in the same generation as me and who can keep up with me.
Anyway, just trying to focus on enjoying the dating and stuff. Right now though, just enjoying the quiet life ... back to work tomorrow and then it's full steam ahead until ... well, forever! September when the Ashes are over.
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Life has been a fabulous, exhausting whirlwind of late. One week ago today I was getting ready to head to Geelong to visit A, one of my oldest and best friends. It was to be one of the longest day's travel (domestic travel that is) of my life, except the two day coach trip to Perth from Bathurst ... but I was a uni student and didn't care so much. Rivalled only by the return trip. I won't go into the details, except that I left home at 10am to get to the airport by midday (did it easily with time to spare) and my flight was supposed to be at 1pm. SUPPOSED to be ... ha ha, fog had caused all sorts of delays at the airport so my flight was delayed by about an hour. Wasn't too bad. Wandered around, tried not to buy things I don't really need. Got to Avalon airport and caught a shuttle into Geelong city centre where my friend lives. So, left home around 10am, arrived at about 4.30pm! Argh. Similar story on the way home, left in airport shuttle bus at 10.15am and arrived home at about 4.30pm.
Had a great time up there, although we both overdid it in a major way on the first night ... we drank over four litres of white wine (argh) and ate a heap of cheese and ... yeah, just cheese. The next day I felt like utter rubbish. Managed to go for two hour-long runs around Geelong Bay, which were AMAZING but also freezing. On my Monday morning run I saw two black swans, swimming along the water's edge together, feeding etc and it was just sooo cute and perfect. Also did a Pump class on Tuesday morning ... which was quite interesting, although I felt a bit disgusted by the instructor. She had NO IDEA what the moves were, she was referring to a piece of paper with the instructions on it, constantly, and still getting it wrong. She also looked like she had just got out of bed and been dragged backwards through a hedge. I felt slightly ridiculous in my gym gear (which is nothing flash I can tell you) while she was in her faux-denim leggings and grey hoodie. I must admit that I was probably a bit rude, as I just kept doing the moves (which I know front to back as I do about three Pump classes a week) while she was fumbling with her cheat sheet. At the end of the class she actually came up and asked me if I was an instructor. Ha ha. Although I have been thinking about it.
Anyway, I am home now and kinda freaking out as it's only four weeks to the Gold Coast half-marathon. I have decided I have to let go of my 1hr55min target as I am just going to disappoint myself if I go for that. Instead just going to take it easy, will run it in whatever I run it in. Just looking forward to going up the coast with some friends.
That said, I am refocussing in a big way. The next CanToo program starts next week, thank god, I really need the group atmosphere to help me keep on track. Have kinda relaxed on the big runs in the last three weeks, and eating has definitely relaxed in a big way ... I shudder to remember what I ate over the weekend. So going to write down what I eat for the next week or so, just so that I'm a bit more aware of what I'm shoving into my mouth.
It's just a hideous cycle I seem to have to go through about once a year, slide down for a few weeks, gain an extra kg or two, feel horrible about everything and realise that I feel so much better when I eat in a more controlled fashion and keep a more structured approach to exercise, especially running.
Oh well, I feel a bit rubbish for going backwards a bit ... but can't do anything to change that! Just going to keep moving forwards and looking ahead. Besides, have holiday in Hawaii to think about - hellooooo bikini!