Annoyed

About two years ago I went on a bit of a mission. I really can't say how it started, or even why, but one day on a walk I did infrequently, 7km, I was bored and saw this girl jog past me at quite a slow but steady pace. And it thought to myself, maybe I can do that. So I did, I jogged! And I decided to do it for 10 minutes, and after that 10 minutes I jogged for another 10 minutes. And kept on running. This time last year I was probably three or four km lighter, but sooo much fitter. And I loved it. I was happy with myself for the first time in ... well, for the first time. I felt confident, I could go out whenever I wanted and feel confident in what I was wearing.

But this year things have been different. I started off the year quite well, but a month of working 6pm to 2am threw my regular routine out the window. Also I had met D and was spending a lot of time with him, pretty much whenever possible. Then I started a new job with new hours. Throw into the mix a stint in hospital and my running was goooone. And ever since I've been trying to regain that fitness and figure.

The biggest problem is myself. I am annoyed at myself for losing that fitness edge, for letting myself get to this point. And I'm annoyed that I can't find that motivation that I had before. I don't know where it's gone, I don't know how I found it before.

But now - I'm going to get it back. Actually, I'm not going to get it back - I'm just going to get myself happy again. And fit and healthy. So this is my plan. I know it will be a challenge, but every day I'm going to remind myself that I'm working towards my goals, I am taking a step towards where I want to be.

Here is my plan:

Every morning wake up at 6am, dressed for a run by 6.15am, run for 30 minutes no matter the weather.

Right now it's not going to happen, but I want to start swimming at least three days a week. I think that will really help to boost my fitness.

Here is my plan for the gym:

Monday - 5.30-6pm run (to Drummoyne Rowers and back), 6.15pm pump
Tuesday - 5.30-6pm run, 6.15pm combat, 7.15pm pump.
Wednesday - 5.30pm Pump
Thursday - 7.15pm Pump
Friday - 5.30pm Pump
Saturday - 10-10.45am run (full 7km), 11am Pump
Sunday - 12km run

Unfortunately this week I'm already gone because of various excuses, not the least one is the cold. But no more! Despite having slight hangover today I'm going to do Pump at 5.30pm and then Combat at 6.30pm. Tomorrow morning I'm going to go for a 30 minute run, then in the afternoon do 20 minutes on the bike, 20 minutes on the treadmill and 10 minutes on the rowing machine before doing Pump. Friday I will do Pump at 5.30pm and then go for a run from 6.35pm to 7.15pm, then drive over to D's and in the morning (Saturday) go for a big run out in the Hills, then do the pump class at 5.30pm.

Once the weather is warmer I am also going to start walking to work in the mornings. If I can get the right routine happening I might even start running to work.

When I move in with my darling D I know it will be hard, but I will catch a 6am bus, get to the city before 7pm and go to Fitness First and do the ol' treadmill run etc. Once it starts getting lighter in the mornings I will get up at 5.30am and go for a run in the mornings. And make sure I go to the gym before going home. Or go to a late class at Castle Hill.

Today is the first day of this challenge. Other little challenges I am setting for myself are:

7km Bay Run 29th July - $20 entry fee paid.
14km City to Surf 12 August - $38 entry fee paid

I am GOING to do this. Even if I walk sections of the City 2 Surf I am going to be on that start line and run over the finish line. I will do it. I can do it. This is for me.

Money

I just have to say that I HATE money. The more I earn, the less effectively I spend it. I don't buy that much more stuff than I did when I earnt less money, I just buy more expensive stuff.

I still remember getting my first pay when I was working at a pub while I was at uni. It was brilliant, probably about $180 or so, and I bought skincare products and groceries - as well as paying rent of course. But back then I felt indulgent buying Loreal stuff. Now when I get paid it's straight to Clarins for very expensive cleanser, toner, moisturiser, eye cream, exfoliator, facial masks, serum ... and then on to Lancome for make-up! Foundation, eye-shadow, eye pencils, mascara, lip gloss, lip liner, blush, pressed powder, loose powder, bronzer ... arrgggh.

And with clothing ... do I really need to own nine pairs of jeans? Seems so! I've got light jeans, dark jeans, dark, DARK jeans, straight-leg jeans, boot-cut jeans, skinny jeans, baggy jeans, "just at home" jeans, going-out jeans. And pretty much the same for every category of my wardrobe.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to the simple life of uni and when I earnt a ridiculously low-wage. Sure, I didn't have as many clothes, they often weren't in fashion ... but at least I wasn't faced with the constant conundrum of what to wear, having enough time to do my hair etc etc.

Anyway, I'm pledging to cut back on all this type of expenditure from next week onwards (after I get paid and do bills etc), just buying the basics - and I'm determined to love it.

Oh I tripped

Falling over and I seem to go hand in hand. My most recent fall was on Tuesday when going on a training run, in the dark. I regularly run this course because it's a relatively easy 7km, well lit and plenty of other people around. Only this time I opted to do the extra 2.5km loop, which I've never done before - owing to the fact that I was only 1.5km from home and feeling so GOOD. Well, within three minutes I realised I'd made a very bad decision - the extra loop was very badly lit - if at all in most places - and had a lot of bushes and trees along one side, perfect place for someone to hide! Now, I'm no scaredy-cat - I know how to handle myself, I don't panic in these situations, but I prefer not to BE in them in the first place.

So anyway, about 1km into this run I trip on a huge bump in the path where a tree root is growing underneath - pitching forward in a most graceful manner, putting my hands out to stop myself (never a good idea) and landing on my right knee, putting a hole in my running tights. FABULOUS. Not only that, but I still had a good 2km to go before I was back at my starting point.

This in itself would no bother me, but as I alluded to earlier - I am always falling over. A few weeks ago I was running with my dog and she spooked at a sign in a real estate window, ran into my leg which collapsed and banged into my other leg and down I went - on the concrete! Ouch.

I fell down the stairs at my boyfriend's house about four months ago, although thankfully it was only down two steps and they're carpeted - although the carpet is what made me fall.

Last year I literally fell into the road while hailing a taxi, just fell down the gutter and landed on my knee and hip, put my back out for a good week or two. Wouldn't mind, but it was right in front of this really posh club that I was escaping from. AND in front of two friends of mine, and the taxi I was hailing with it's two passengers.

I also had a major running fall last year - but at full speed - which left me with concrete burn on my hands, a really banged up knee and face. Lovely! Should've taught me my lesson though - oops.

When I travelled around Europe I fell down in pretty much every country we went to, including walking into a hand railing in Venice, and an excellently placed shin-high pole in London.

And only two months before that I entertained the guests at my house warming NOT with my jelly shots, cocktails or nibblies (though there were plenty), but by going down at least eight carpeted stairs on my hands and knees after tripping in my heels. Lovely.

Anyway, that's my rant for today. I'm sick of falling down!