Tuesday, 16 March 2010

A few break-throughs

Well, it's been all systems go here for the last few weeks. Work is work is work, and it's a mad house as always. There have been some moments of extreme stress - on a level I've never experienced - in the past few weeks, to the point where I was ready to tell my manager I simply couldn't do what she was asking me to.

Naturally, I just knuckled down in a major way and got the job done. There is light at the end of the tunnel ... it's a distant light, but I am focussed on it.

That's the bad stuff, which is good because it's getting better.

The good and great stuff! Number one, on Monday I had a break-through run. I've been training, hard, for the May half-marathon for five weeks and up until Monday I had felt like I was really struggling to run well. Not technique-wise, but in terms of feeling horrible and heavy on my feet and generally un-running fit. On Monday, despite the fact I was sooo sore from serious Pump class on Sunday plus walking lots in high heels on Sunday afternoon, I went for a 5km tempo run and ... it felt good! I had that great feeling of having energy even while I was pushing myself up a hill. Whoo hoo! Which is good, great even, because tomorrow's running session is 8x400m sprints, which are enough to bring me to tears and/or to my knees. Hopefully they won't be quite as evil.

Number two breakthrough, twice I stopped myself from being ... well, misused is the wrong word, but "messed around" by guys. Firstly, on Friday a guy who I have seen twice rang me to try to move our date from Friday to Sunday. Firstly, he knew I was busy on Sunday as my family were in town. Secondly, he had done the exact same thing the week before. So I said "no" it wasn't okay and, in fact, I didn't want to see him. Not on Sunday, and not again. And I didn't. I realise things come up, but I really felt like he was on the verge of messing me around.

The second time was a guy who I dated agggges ago and it just sort of fell away. No funny business, but there was potential. Well he has TWICE called me for an impromptu catch up, but I have refused as it's obvious whoever he has been seeing in the interim has lost interest and now he's just going for what HE thinks, no doubt, is second best. Pfft, that so is not happening.

It may sound minor, but for me it's a big deal to recognise what's going on and not allow myself to be used for anything - even if it's just for company or killing time if you know what I mean. I have far too much going on to be wasting time with guys who are just wanting to waste my time.

Heh, okay, rant over.