Well that was stooopid...

Yep. This weekend has been a write off in more ways than one.\
Physically okay, running on Saturday (12km) was great, was a hard trail run and I felt strong the whole way and even chased down one of the faster runners in the last 2km. Whoo hoo.

That's where the good stuff ends and the crap begins. Went out for drinks with some friends on Saturday night and we ended up having Thai for dinner ... had simple chicken and cashew stir fry and had about 1/2 cup of rice, so that wasn't too bad. The eight or so drinks following was definitely NOT good, nor was the 1/2 pita toasted with cheese (low fat - blah) I had to eat when I got home.

Sunday, today, was absolute utter crapola and I actively made the decision for it to be utter crapola. Breakfast started fabulously with porridge made with water and a cup of tea, then I met a friend for some shopping and had coffee ... and a muffin. Saw a movie, He's Just Not That Into You, which struck some firm and savage blows with me ... realising how utterly crap my relationship with D was ... how many mistakes we both made, but how I should've seen the bloody signs a lot earlier. Ate nice bag of air popped pop-corn, which isn't SO bad, but then ate good handful or two of mixed lollies. By choice! I actively bought them with the intent to eat them. Grrr.

Afterwards, minor hooray, found the perfect shoes for the bridesmaid's gig ... PLUS they were reduced to $60 and it was 50% off that! Noice. $124.95 shoes for $34.50. I was stoked, and I will definitely wear them again.

Then, utter crap again. Went for a few beers and, once again, actively made the decision to have a few DISGUSTING cigarettes. Why, why, WHY? I hate the things, they made me/make me feel disgusting and are the worst thing a person can do to their body. Why did I do this?

Argh, as if that wasn't bad enough I then stoooopidly answered a phonecall from D when I was feeling all melancholy and it was a horrible conversation with him - as usual - talking to me with such hurtful indifference. Why did I answer the phone. Felt utterly miserable about the whole day.

Think I redeemed myself ever so slightly by having nice healthy dinner with kanagaroo steak, baby spinach and mashed sweet potato.

So, what can I do? Well, start a fresh I guess. Suffer dreadfully during tomorrow afternoon's 7km run and Pump class and basically learn a hard lesson.

What's that saying ... to err is human to forgive is divine? I've erred, that's for sure, now I must forgive myself and allow myself to move on from this and not let it become the pattern for the week/month etc.

Step one of the recovey process will be to ... sleep. Get a good 8 hours tonight and start tomorrow feeling a bit more nornmal :)