Human Again

Hurrah. Has taken me two days to expel the "wedding disaster" toxins from my body. Yesterday was just a waste of space. But by the evening felt well enough to write down a whole heap of stuff for tonight's "serious chat" with D. In my mind tonight is really the last roll of the dice. It was very painful, but I decided to write down everything that I was thinking because I have so many different thoughts jostling for position that sometimes I find it hard to articulate any one of them. I've never really done this before ... will see if there's any benefit. But I think often D gets confused because my thoughts, hopes and fears spill out of me in random spasms ... this way I plan on at least saying everything I need to in a hopefully calm way.

Today is last day of action. Flat clean up continues full steam ahead, have done ALL the washing - including the annoying hand washing of delicates - and washed all sheets and towels which had been waiting for a sunny day. Today is the chuck day. Cleaning out the fridge, getting all eBay clothes out and photographed, chucking out things that are either too big, too old or whatever. Then doing the usual - dusting, mopping, vacuuming, scrubbing etc etc. THEN we shall see where we're at ... will either pop to the beach for a few hours, or will just do shopping for tonight's dinner. Hah, have to say how horrified I was to discover I own over 20 "green bags" (shopping bags made from recycled materials). No-one needs this many. So am putting 5 in the car, keeping 5 in the hour and giving the rest to parents and D ... who I'm pretty sure I've inadvertently pinched a few of them from. Going to chuck out the old phone books which the previous owner here kept for some reason, clean out the laundry and ... yeah. Sounds like a lot I realise, but this place is probably 20 square metres in total so it's not like I'm doing a whole house. It's two medium sized rooms. Vacuuming takes literally 10 mins. The bathroom and kitchen are both about 3m x 2m so mopping takes about 30 seconds, or maybe a minute. Ha ha.

That way can have tomorrow to really fully chill out, get to the gym/running nice and early (getting up at 5.30am to prepare for returning to work and 6am starts), do some grocery shopping and then get myself to the beach for some reading. Hmm, did mean to go swimsuit shopping and buy a tank top that isn't falling down (bits have shrunk substantially since last summer), but cannot face prospect of swimwear shopping right now. Far too happy to put myself through that!

So - to action! Yeah!