Not so much about weight-loss, crappy jobs and the like today.
I am just so horrified, shocked and upset by the stories and images coming through re: the bushfires in Victoria. As I write, something like 65 confirmed dead and fears the final toll is bound to reach well over this. Most from the same few towns, which are all very small communities. This article made me wish I could send the water currently flooding Far North Queensland in the opposite direction. What's equally as bad is the fact it's not over! There are something like 8 fires still burning, out of control, and the best the firies can hope for is to create containment lines and hope they hold.
The thought of seeing a firefront approaching, having to decide to get in the car and leave your house, livestock, possessions etc behind, and then get caught in the road somewhere, surrounded by flames and perishing is just ... oh, beyond words.
I am praying for those people and their families and friends. I hope the rain gets there soon!
So, yeah, today this kind of snapped me out of my bad funk. It made me realise sure I have my "problem areas", but at least I haven't lost everything - including my life - and despite recent back issues, I have my health, I have A job which pays pretty good and isn't totally horrendous most of the time, my parents are healthy and well, and I have my friends who care about me and love me in spite of my flaws etc. While some bodies might be perfect, nobody is perfect so I really should just accept things - the good and the bad - and start to enjoy my life and the pursuit of my goals instead of wishing I could just achieve the goals, thinking my life will be complete if I have less wobbly thighs, more toned upper arms and a six-pack.
I guess for me Living Life Course 101 started today. I hope I get a High Distinction!
Sunday, 8 February 2009
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Another cranky, ranty blog - beware!
I am so p*ssed off right now. Just had one of those wonderful "team" meetings where you all sit around and talk about various crap that everyone already knows about. Usually, they're nothing and I spend the time trying not to fall asleep. Nope! Not today. Today seemed to be a chance for my inexperienced and generally limp-wristed boss to take potshots at everyone, and yep - I was lined up for a nice hot shot.
Am I a slacker? Am I bad at my job? Nope. In fact on many previous occasions he has a) begged me not to leave to another department within the company (didn't like that manager so didn't need much convincing); and b) said that I am one of the people who holds the department together and that when I'm on shift he knows everything will be alright. So why am I so angry? We work 10-hour shifts, which is a bloody long time let me tell you, and we get an hour break. Because of the way I like to structure my day/myself I generally opt to simply take a 15 minute break and leave 45 minutes early so I can get to various things (gym, running, beat the traffic).
In today's meeting my manager says that he's really "disappointed" by people not taking breaks, and that it's not cool or healthy (like HE would know the fat bastard) to sit at your desk for 9 hours with no break) and then leave at 3pm. I was the only person in the room who starts early enough to finish at 3pm (my shift starts at 6am), so it was clearly a thinly-veiled attack on me! In front of everyone, he didn't even have the decency or guts to approach me on this issue individually.
So, that's it. From now on I'm going to take that hour break PLUS go out every two hours - like the smokers do - for 10 minutes. I'll toe the line, while looking for another fabulous job!
Douchebag!
Am I a slacker? Am I bad at my job? Nope. In fact on many previous occasions he has a) begged me not to leave to another department within the company (didn't like that manager so didn't need much convincing); and b) said that I am one of the people who holds the department together and that when I'm on shift he knows everything will be alright. So why am I so angry? We work 10-hour shifts, which is a bloody long time let me tell you, and we get an hour break. Because of the way I like to structure my day/myself I generally opt to simply take a 15 minute break and leave 45 minutes early so I can get to various things (gym, running, beat the traffic).
In today's meeting my manager says that he's really "disappointed" by people not taking breaks, and that it's not cool or healthy (like HE would know the fat bastard) to sit at your desk for 9 hours with no break) and then leave at 3pm. I was the only person in the room who starts early enough to finish at 3pm (my shift starts at 6am), so it was clearly a thinly-veiled attack on me! In front of everyone, he didn't even have the decency or guts to approach me on this issue individually.
So, that's it. From now on I'm going to take that hour break PLUS go out every two hours - like the smokers do - for 10 minutes. I'll toe the line, while looking for another fabulous job!
Douchebag!
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Is it any wonder...
Just a short vent required. Is it any wonder women develop/have complexes about their bodies? I've just finished reading some article about Jessica Simpson "stacking on the pounds" causing her boyfriend to lose interest in her and cheat on her. Gaaah. Number one, I hardly think she's stacked on the pounds ... she looks perfectly healthy and happy! The only thing she could be accused of is choosing less than flattering outfits ... which really IS a bit of a crime considering the amount of coin she has to spend on outfits and people she can pay to make sure she looks good in said outfits.
THEN to suggest the entire reason her boyfriend has cheated is because she's gained some curves is just ludicrous. Perhaps it's more to do with the fact he's a loser scumbag? Huh, huh.
Ahhh, much better.
I think I am slowly making peace with my body. After torturing it at Bikram last night (the intermediate class no less), making some serious progress in standing bow pose (which is supposed to look something like this) to my great delight/surprise, then discovering the joys of Quinoa after finally locating it in the health food section at the supermarket, I caught myself glaring at my reflection in the mirror - my eyes immediately seeking out all the bits I don't like. It seems the only part of me that's not healthy is my attitude! You know, physically I am working on strengthening, stretching and building fitness and I am eating a good, healthy, balanced diet ... and then I am sabotaging myself by looking at myself and thinking "hmm, thighs are still looking a bit heavy, need to trim up here" etc etc. Yes, very healthy thinking.
So I slapped myself 'round a bit and told myself to snap out of it and look at the positives - I had just done 90 minutes of intense Bikram - which is cardio, strengthening and flexibility training all in one - and had noticed improvement etc and enjoyed it. Even if I'm not where I want to be, I am working towards it and I should enjoy the journey rather than just hanging out for the results. Because even when (yes WHEN) I get to where I want to be, I will need to stay focussed to maintain it and continue to enjoy the journey. So ... yeah. I must be nicer to and more positive about my body and myself.
Okay ... oddly segued rant over.
THEN to suggest the entire reason her boyfriend has cheated is because she's gained some curves is just ludicrous. Perhaps it's more to do with the fact he's a loser scumbag? Huh, huh.
Ahhh, much better.
I think I am slowly making peace with my body. After torturing it at Bikram last night (the intermediate class no less), making some serious progress in standing bow pose (which is supposed to look something like this) to my great delight/surprise, then discovering the joys of Quinoa after finally locating it in the health food section at the supermarket, I caught myself glaring at my reflection in the mirror - my eyes immediately seeking out all the bits I don't like. It seems the only part of me that's not healthy is my attitude! You know, physically I am working on strengthening, stretching and building fitness and I am eating a good, healthy, balanced diet ... and then I am sabotaging myself by looking at myself and thinking "hmm, thighs are still looking a bit heavy, need to trim up here" etc etc. Yes, very healthy thinking.
So I slapped myself 'round a bit and told myself to snap out of it and look at the positives - I had just done 90 minutes of intense Bikram - which is cardio, strengthening and flexibility training all in one - and had noticed improvement etc and enjoyed it. Even if I'm not where I want to be, I am working towards it and I should enjoy the journey rather than just hanging out for the results. Because even when (yes WHEN) I get to where I want to be, I will need to stay focussed to maintain it and continue to enjoy the journey. So ... yeah. I must be nicer to and more positive about my body and myself.
Okay ... oddly segued rant over.
Monday, 2 February 2009
New Discovery
On Saturday morning my physio appointment conflicted with pretty much every gym class, Bikram class I could do - they were either going to cut across it or leave me with only half an hour to get home, change and get to the physio and not really enough time to cool down so that I wasn't sweaty etc. I HAD thought about going for a run, but thought I'd better wait and see what torturer-physio had to say. So I slept in (until 7am - record for me!), stripped the bed, washed the sheets, hung them on the line, did more washing, cleaning and watched some Dr Who. Walked over to the physio for another torture session, which involved him apologising after noticing the bruises his last few treatments have left. Ouchy.
After that I faffed about a bit more, freaked out slightly after a friend of mine invited herself to another friend of mine's birthday do ... not realising that the friend whose b'day it was didn't like her, so I had to figure out a way to tell her she wasn't invited. Basically, she asked me if I wanted to catch up on Saturday night and I said I couldn't as I was going out with J for her b'day (with a group of others) and she said "oh, so what time's that" and then "oh, and where are we meeting". These two girls ... well, women, have met before and are not friends, but I think my friend just wanted to go out so desperately that it didn't matter who with. Sooo, I could have told her she simply wasn't really invited, but instead I said we'd booked a table at a restaurant and it was booked out. I'm quite sure she didn't believe me, because 99% of restaurants can always make room for one more. But argh, stuff happens right?
THEN I made a brilliant discovery. Went to the gym at 12pm and - it was DEAD quiet! Everyone was probably at the beach or out doing stuff, leaving the gym free to roam around at my leisure instead of eyeing off the availability of rowing machines while I'm on the bike/treadmill/X-trainer. And the weights room was full of harmless, nice dad-looking men who didn't feel the need to look me up and down OR take up several work stations at once. No! I felt quite comfortable doing my little upper body workout ... well, 20 mins of biceps, triceps, back and shoulders anyway.
So, forget about mornings or afternoons - on the weekend it's all about the middle of the day. PLUS I got to hang out in the air con - always a bonus.
Sunday didn't manage to factor much exercise in besides walking from our hotel in the city to Darling Harbour for breakfast, then a swim at a friend's place, plus walking around the city with my bag after lunch/swim etc. Eating wasn't terrible ... wasn't fabulous either and had about six glasses of wine over the weekend all up I think. No booze this week! Bikram this arvo (eeek!), then tomorrow is pump then a swim, Wednesday cardio + pump, Thursday Bikram + Pump and Friday ... um, we shall see how we're going by then. During the week going to do some little 20 minute runs to gauge how the ol' back is going and if all is good then will do good 10km on Saturday morning at whatever pace is required. Then will hit the gym at lunchtime!
After that I faffed about a bit more, freaked out slightly after a friend of mine invited herself to another friend of mine's birthday do ... not realising that the friend whose b'day it was didn't like her, so I had to figure out a way to tell her she wasn't invited. Basically, she asked me if I wanted to catch up on Saturday night and I said I couldn't as I was going out with J for her b'day (with a group of others) and she said "oh, so what time's that" and then "oh, and where are we meeting". These two girls ... well, women, have met before and are not friends, but I think my friend just wanted to go out so desperately that it didn't matter who with. Sooo, I could have told her she simply wasn't really invited, but instead I said we'd booked a table at a restaurant and it was booked out. I'm quite sure she didn't believe me, because 99% of restaurants can always make room for one more. But argh, stuff happens right?
THEN I made a brilliant discovery. Went to the gym at 12pm and - it was DEAD quiet! Everyone was probably at the beach or out doing stuff, leaving the gym free to roam around at my leisure instead of eyeing off the availability of rowing machines while I'm on the bike/treadmill/X-trainer. And the weights room was full of harmless, nice dad-looking men who didn't feel the need to look me up and down OR take up several work stations at once. No! I felt quite comfortable doing my little upper body workout ... well, 20 mins of biceps, triceps, back and shoulders anyway.
So, forget about mornings or afternoons - on the weekend it's all about the middle of the day. PLUS I got to hang out in the air con - always a bonus.
Sunday didn't manage to factor much exercise in besides walking from our hotel in the city to Darling Harbour for breakfast, then a swim at a friend's place, plus walking around the city with my bag after lunch/swim etc. Eating wasn't terrible ... wasn't fabulous either and had about six glasses of wine over the weekend all up I think. No booze this week! Bikram this arvo (eeek!), then tomorrow is pump then a swim, Wednesday cardio + pump, Thursday Bikram + Pump and Friday ... um, we shall see how we're going by then. During the week going to do some little 20 minute runs to gauge how the ol' back is going and if all is good then will do good 10km on Saturday morning at whatever pace is required. Then will hit the gym at lunchtime!
Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Triumphant Return!
Whooo hooo! I feel a million and one times better than I did at the same time last week ... which isn't terribly hard considering last Wednesday I could hardly stand up and it hurt to walk, sit down, lie down and go in between. Hurrah!
Tuesday saw me suffering in agony at the physio again ... dear GOD in heaven the man is a sadist, but I guess I can't complain too much because I am sooo much recovered. I could still really only manage a good hour-long walk, up some mighty hills around here mind you, but today I decided to give Bikram a go and see how I went. I opted for the 6.15am class because the room isn't quite as heated as it is for the arvo classes (more like 34C instead of 38C+), and I think they shave about 10mins off the class time. I did 95 per cent of the moves, the only one I didn't do or even attempt was the sit up because the instructor recommended I not do this as it's known to aggravate lower back conditions. Which was a shame because I really like them! Instead I did some pelvic work - which my physio showed me - and then joined the rest of the class, felt mildly stupid ... but what the hell, better than putting my recovery back.
So, that is a very good start. Today went to the Sydney Aquarium for the first time since I've lived in Sydney (uhhh, nine years this month!) and had a fabulous time! I saw the Dugongs ... awww, they're sooo cute. And learnt that they're actually most closely related to elephants than any marine animal. Amazing. Walked all over Darling Harbour, and escaped the city before peak hour cranked itself up to full throttle.
Feeling sooo much more positive than at this time last week, mind you I felt like a cripple and really just wanted to crawl - painfully - into a hole for a while. But I didn't! And I've survived the worst (touch wood, touch wood), so things can only get better. Two weeks 'til training starts for the next half-mara, so that's all I'm thinking of/focusing on - being right to start with everyone else. I will do whatever it takes! Still no running, physio said maybe this weekend ... heh, am I terrible if I try it before then?? He IS the expert so perhaps I should respect this fact - and the fact that I am actually PAYING for his advice/service - but I am still tempted. Surely a teeny 20 minute run can't hurt? We shall see, I'll see how I recover from Bikram and today's walking efforts.
Anyhoo, that's really all for now. But I just needed to shout from ... uh, my blogspot, I'M BACK. Yeeees.
Tuesday saw me suffering in agony at the physio again ... dear GOD in heaven the man is a sadist, but I guess I can't complain too much because I am sooo much recovered. I could still really only manage a good hour-long walk, up some mighty hills around here mind you, but today I decided to give Bikram a go and see how I went. I opted for the 6.15am class because the room isn't quite as heated as it is for the arvo classes (more like 34C instead of 38C+), and I think they shave about 10mins off the class time. I did 95 per cent of the moves, the only one I didn't do or even attempt was the sit up because the instructor recommended I not do this as it's known to aggravate lower back conditions. Which was a shame because I really like them! Instead I did some pelvic work - which my physio showed me - and then joined the rest of the class, felt mildly stupid ... but what the hell, better than putting my recovery back.
So, that is a very good start. Today went to the Sydney Aquarium for the first time since I've lived in Sydney (uhhh, nine years this month!) and had a fabulous time! I saw the Dugongs ... awww, they're sooo cute. And learnt that they're actually most closely related to elephants than any marine animal. Amazing. Walked all over Darling Harbour, and escaped the city before peak hour cranked itself up to full throttle.
Feeling sooo much more positive than at this time last week, mind you I felt like a cripple and really just wanted to crawl - painfully - into a hole for a while. But I didn't! And I've survived the worst (touch wood, touch wood), so things can only get better. Two weeks 'til training starts for the next half-mara, so that's all I'm thinking of/focusing on - being right to start with everyone else. I will do whatever it takes! Still no running, physio said maybe this weekend ... heh, am I terrible if I try it before then?? He IS the expert so perhaps I should respect this fact - and the fact that I am actually PAYING for his advice/service - but I am still tempted. Surely a teeny 20 minute run can't hurt? We shall see, I'll see how I recover from Bikram and today's walking efforts.
Anyhoo, that's really all for now. But I just needed to shout from ... uh, my blogspot, I'M BACK. Yeeees.
Friday, 23 January 2009
Ouch - warning, whinge ahead!
I just emailed a big whinge to a friend of mine and then had to immediately write another message apologising for doing nothing but complain in the email. Trying very hard to be positive but at the moment, it's quite difficult because (at the risk of sounding like a big ol' wuz) ... I'm in paaaaain. Not workout induced pain, nor heartache pain (thank god), but my-body-is-ageing-at-a-rate-of-knots-and-hates-me pain. My back has gone out. Specifically, my lower back due to a series of events that are completely unrelated except for the fact they screwed up my back. Event #1: Wearing four inch (YES four inch, I'm 5'2" and I need all the help I can get) heels on a night out. Event #2: Sea kayaking for four hours. While this was SO MUCH FUN, it also involves a lot of twisting and bending from the hips and using muscles I don't use in any of my exercises. Event #3: Loading up extra weight in Pump squat track. The clincher, however, is Event #4: Falling on my big-fat butt while walking down the stairs in my unit block with a large box of recycling (only one wine bottle, thank you!) In fact, #4 can possibly the lion's share of the blame - but the others certainly didn't help.
The result for someone with a weak-er lower back due to having an extra lumbar disc which is prone to inflammation? Hellooooo muscle spasms. Serious muscle spasms caused by the jelly-like matter between spinal discs getting inflammed by all of the above events and trapped nerves sending irregular messages to surrounding muscles. Heh, so what does that mean? A few things including, but not restricted to, the muscles all up the left-hand side of my spine tensing up and causing me to lean over to the left, similarly the muscles in my left butt cheek tensing up causing extreme pain when ... well, walking, sitting, standing, lying and going in between the four. It was all agony and horrible. The physio sessions (x2) were similar AGONY with my EVIL physio "massaging" the spasming muscles, remarking on how she's not seen someone so jammed up for ages while she digs her thumb into my hip flexor (about one inch inside hip bones) and rubs the constricted muscle fibres vigorously.
Urgh, I won't talk about it anymore except to say thank GOD for health insurance which meant I only had to pay $28 of $70 per torture ... uh, I mean physio session, and I HAVE BRUISES. On both the inside of my hips, my butt cheeks (oh yes, glutes got a "massage" too) and up either side of my spine.
Okay, so that's enough of THAT whinge. On to the next one which is ... I am SO p'd off about this happening now because I was on a fabulous exercise roll. Pump, Bikram, cardio sessions ... I was loving it all! And now I've got at least a week before I can consider any of the above seriously ... except for MAYBE Bikram. Heh, although having said that this arvo I am going to the gym for some light cardio stuff ... just the bike and walking on the treadmill I PROMISE. It's too hot to just go for a walk outside (it's 41C apparently) so will just hang out at the gym for a little while. Need to burn some calories as I feel like I'm turning into a blubbery whale ... oh, and just ate two bits of chocolate, so need to burn the guilt away too :P
Okay, that's enough for this entry ... far too much whingeing bubbling away inside of me ... will just melt it away at the gym and next post will be filled with positivity and happy thoughts. Promise!
The result for someone with a weak-er lower back due to having an extra lumbar disc which is prone to inflammation? Hellooooo muscle spasms. Serious muscle spasms caused by the jelly-like matter between spinal discs getting inflammed by all of the above events and trapped nerves sending irregular messages to surrounding muscles. Heh, so what does that mean? A few things including, but not restricted to, the muscles all up the left-hand side of my spine tensing up and causing me to lean over to the left, similarly the muscles in my left butt cheek tensing up causing extreme pain when ... well, walking, sitting, standing, lying and going in between the four. It was all agony and horrible. The physio sessions (x2) were similar AGONY with my EVIL physio "massaging" the spasming muscles, remarking on how she's not seen someone so jammed up for ages while she digs her thumb into my hip flexor (about one inch inside hip bones) and rubs the constricted muscle fibres vigorously.
Urgh, I won't talk about it anymore except to say thank GOD for health insurance which meant I only had to pay $28 of $70 per torture ... uh, I mean physio session, and I HAVE BRUISES. On both the inside of my hips, my butt cheeks (oh yes, glutes got a "massage" too) and up either side of my spine.
Okay, so that's enough of THAT whinge. On to the next one which is ... I am SO p'd off about this happening now because I was on a fabulous exercise roll. Pump, Bikram, cardio sessions ... I was loving it all! And now I've got at least a week before I can consider any of the above seriously ... except for MAYBE Bikram. Heh, although having said that this arvo I am going to the gym for some light cardio stuff ... just the bike and walking on the treadmill I PROMISE. It's too hot to just go for a walk outside (it's 41C apparently) so will just hang out at the gym for a little while. Need to burn some calories as I feel like I'm turning into a blubbery whale ... oh, and just ate two bits of chocolate, so need to burn the guilt away too :P
Okay, that's enough for this entry ... far too much whingeing bubbling away inside of me ... will just melt it away at the gym and next post will be filled with positivity and happy thoughts. Promise!
Friday, 16 January 2009
Two slack days and a weekend of mad activity
Well, yesterday it was revoltingly hot in Sydney even at 6.30am when I attempted to go for a nice 10km run. I ran for 15 minutes before the overwhelming heat and humidity got to me, it was sooo hard to breathe and where I live there was no nice cool breeze to help me. I walked for about a minute to ease the throbbing in my head before jogging home for a shower and (gah - nanna) 15 minute lie down after drinking a good litre of water ... uh, maybe a touch less, but still. Was about 35 mins of running all up, but it sure felt like more.
Went to visit my bro at his new digs in gorgeous Clovelly and suffered from severe flat-envy. OMG, his place is soooo, so nice ... his kitchen is bigger than my parents' kitchen, and THAT is saying something. Bloody hell. We went out for breakfast which included a 15 minute walk there up some pretty gruesome slopes, and the same on the way home ... although slightly slower I must admit. I had fresh squeezed apple, carrot and celery juice and a piece of sourdough toast with ricotta, banana and strawberries ... with honey over the top. Mmm, so good! Honestly it was the best thing on the menu besides the fruit and yoghurt, and I'd already eaten a nectarine so I didn't want too much more fruit (baaaad side effects).
Raced home and then practically ran to the hairdressers where I made a spontaneous decision to chop three inches off my locks! Heh, spontaneous decision helped muchly by the heat - was sooo uncomfortable by the time I got there and I just felt the need to lighten up. Everyone loves it so far ... but I am still unconvinced. It's one of these "long bobs" ... it's quite slinky etc, or sassy as my friend described, but I'm not sure if I can pull it off. I've always gone more for the "cute" and "funny" look rather than slinky or sassy.
After walking home from the shops with some groceries for dinner I was pretty much stuffed and drank a huge amount of water before collapsing on the couch to watch Sex and the City for a while ... heh, well, sleeping in front of the TV with Sex and the City ON it.
Anyhoo - a slack day in terms of exercise. Today will be another slack one as I am meeting a friend for a drink or two directly after work ... wanted to skip lunch and leave an hour early and go to the gym for a quick workout, but now we have something that will keep us busy ALL night so I need to stay until 6pm. Big d'oh on that one.
I've just about come to terms with it all though and will go for a run tomorrow morning and then do arvo Pump before my girls' night out with a fab friend of mine. Hopefully that will relieve the guilt ...
Went to visit my bro at his new digs in gorgeous Clovelly and suffered from severe flat-envy. OMG, his place is soooo, so nice ... his kitchen is bigger than my parents' kitchen, and THAT is saying something. Bloody hell. We went out for breakfast which included a 15 minute walk there up some pretty gruesome slopes, and the same on the way home ... although slightly slower I must admit. I had fresh squeezed apple, carrot and celery juice and a piece of sourdough toast with ricotta, banana and strawberries ... with honey over the top. Mmm, so good! Honestly it was the best thing on the menu besides the fruit and yoghurt, and I'd already eaten a nectarine so I didn't want too much more fruit (baaaad side effects).
Raced home and then practically ran to the hairdressers where I made a spontaneous decision to chop three inches off my locks! Heh, spontaneous decision helped muchly by the heat - was sooo uncomfortable by the time I got there and I just felt the need to lighten up. Everyone loves it so far ... but I am still unconvinced. It's one of these "long bobs" ... it's quite slinky etc, or sassy as my friend described, but I'm not sure if I can pull it off. I've always gone more for the "cute" and "funny" look rather than slinky or sassy.
After walking home from the shops with some groceries for dinner I was pretty much stuffed and drank a huge amount of water before collapsing on the couch to watch Sex and the City for a while ... heh, well, sleeping in front of the TV with Sex and the City ON it.
Anyhoo - a slack day in terms of exercise. Today will be another slack one as I am meeting a friend for a drink or two directly after work ... wanted to skip lunch and leave an hour early and go to the gym for a quick workout, but now we have something that will keep us busy ALL night so I need to stay until 6pm. Big d'oh on that one.
I've just about come to terms with it all though and will go for a run tomorrow morning and then do arvo Pump before my girls' night out with a fab friend of mine. Hopefully that will relieve the guilt ...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
