Man stuff

In other news, men are extremely confusing types.

On Saturday I met "the new guy" for what he describes as "non-alcohol based behaviour". Which I was cool with. Most of our dates have revolved around drinking wine or eating, which in my mind was GREAT as I love wine and I only think that once I really stepped over the line between being tipsy (and still capable of coherent/intelligent conversation) and drunk, and HE was drunk too.

He has dropped a few comments about it, which has bothered me a bit. I am comfortable with my alcohol intake levels and I have never gone beyond the point of control, EVER. I have decided to let existing comments go, they were in the vein of seeing a preview on TV for 60 Minutes or A Current Affair (can't remember which) featuring a special on teenage binge drinking and him asking me if I was a teenager binge drinker. I soooo wasn't, so naturally I said "no", to which he replied "huh, what happened?" Idiot. I would like to believe he was just being provocative (it worked), so just laughed, but if it comes up again I'm thinking that he has some opinion on my drinking and I'll ask him exactly what he'd like to say.

So that's one current point of annoyance. It's probably just a personality thing. It's just that he seems to have this way of managing to exclude his behaviour from judgement and focus on mine. Hellooo, it wasn't like I was there drinking by myself.

NOT going to allow it to cloud my judgement as I am PMSing a bit and that always makes me a bit prickly about these sort of things.

Just one more vent though. We went to dinner - as part of a paid-for work event put on by a client. My role as a food writer and editor is to assess everything and try pretty much everything so that I can comment on it. We were at a progressive dinner that went to various restaurants in Sydney for each course - nibbles at one, main at another, dessert somewhere else etc. So, at the restaurant for the main course we were served this amaaazing hand-made pasta. It was to die for. There was also, however, this delicious and fluffy looking homemade bread - served with chilli oil (my favourite). I'd commented on how good the pasta was, but I really wanted to try the bread as it looked amazing. I was served a huge wedge of it, but I only ate a tiny corner of it - and it and the chilli oil were both simply DELICIOUS. As I commented on how good it was, he says to me "why don't you just have more pasta instead of eating the bread". WTF? What's it to him? We weren't paying, I had brought him along as a "colleague" so he was there for 100% free (whereas I have to write something about it).

Urgh, to be honest, I am thinking these are not good signs but - also to be honest - I want to determine that it's not just a range of other things including: me PMSing, reading too much into things, looking for things to fault in self-protection behaviour, etc etc.

I am well-known for my self-protection behaviour. These days, I am better at spotting it ... but the first major case of it was a few years ago when I had been with my ex for about six weeks I absolutely LOST IT at him one night and ran off in a huff. No idea what sparked it now. But that was classic self-protection behaviour because I knew we were getting "close" and I was starting to freak out about putting myself in that situation where I was vulnerable and someone could hurt me. As it turns out of course he WAS very bad for me - emotionally manipulative, insecure and more, so perhaps I should've trusted my instincts?

Hmm, anyway, I am trying (after this post of course) not to think too much about it, because I can be my own worst enemy - talking myself into and out of things.

We shall see.